SURFER DUDE!
by RonWeasleyFan
Summary: he he.....my First Cliche! Well, not all mine....Ditto helped with some of it..........r/r. oh, this isn't too crazy! I swear!


As/N: This is written by Ditto AND Yahoo! We're making it up as we go.......  
Please Flame! We have some marshmallows and sticks here.......just to let you know, we had 5 Pepsi and Cokes (each) before writing this.......  
(just to let y'all know, if ya didn't, "sick" means kewl)  
8 )  
  
Harry Potter walked into the Gryffindor Common Room. He was feeling especially proud. He had purchased a brand new pocket protector from The Nerd Herd Store in Hogsmeade.  
  
Just then, his best friend Ronald Weasley walked up to him.   
  
"Whoa, dude, that is one sick pocket protector you got! Awesome tape on the glasses, man!"  
  
"Yes, I thought so myself. By the way, it is in perfect condition, it's not 'ill,' as you have put it."  
  
Harry saw that Ron had waved to someone behind his shoulder.  
  
"Yo, man, look it's Hermi!"  
  
Hermione walked up, complete in frayed bellbottoms, a shirt that said, "QT", with her purple blush and orange lipstick, and her hair in pigtails.   
  
"Like, Hi Harry! Hi Ron!" She giggled.  
  
Harry tapped his hat and said, "Good day, Hermione!"  
  
"Dude, Hermione, your hair is, like, so sick!"  
  
Hermione giggled.  
  
"Well, I believe we should head on towards the Great Hall, or we shall miss luncheon."  
  
The trio headed on towards the Great Hall.  
  
~`~  
~Meanwhile, at the Slytherin table...~  
  
"Oh, my goodness! I forgot to study for my Arithmancy test! Crabbe, can you help me?" Malfoy exclaimed.  
  
Crabbe replied,"Well, let's start with the basics. How about.... E=MC2 ? Have you learned that?"  
  
Malfoy shook his head.  
  
Goyle stepped in the conversation,"Here, Draco, would you like to borrow this book for some light reading?"  
  
He then dropped "Advanced Arithmancy", a 10,000 page book, on the table. "There, you should be able to finish that tonight. I certainly did."  
  
Malfoy said::trying to avoid studying::, "Oh, look, boys! There's Harry, Ron, and Hermione! Shall we invite them to the Three Broomsticks for dinner tonight?"  
  
He gave the trio a small wave. They smiled and waved back.  
  
~`~  
~Later that night...~  
  
"Well, Draco, I am certainly looking forward to a lovely dinner!" said Harry.  
  
"Ya, man...it'll be so sick, mon!"  
  
Hermione giggled.  
  
~Little did they know that a certain person was following them...~  
  
An insane Neville Longbottom had overheard their plans. Thinking it could be something to plot, he hypnotized a batch of Hufflepuffs, and followed Harry and co.   
  
When they got there, they spotted the gang. Madam Rosemereta was saying, "What do you want?"   
  
"Dude, like, I'll have a butterbeer, Rosie."  
  
"Yes, I believe that's what I shall have as well."  
  
Hermione giggled. She nodded.  
  
"Yes, that's what we'll have, too."  
  
Neville sneaked into the Three Broomsticks. He motioned to the group of evil Hufflepuffs, and directed them toward the table where Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle were sitting. The Hufflepuff (who happened to be Justin Flintch-Fletchey) roared and leaped forward.  
  
"Woah! Dude, watch it!" Ron seized his surfboard, and smacked Justin on the head just as he leapt on the table.  
  
Justin stiffened, and fell limp.  
  
"Hmmmm....it seems my plans have failed me. I shall have to be quicker next time....." Neville whispered to no one in particular.  
  
Neville cleverly sat in a table in the corner, and made it seem as though he was thinking up complicated and decieving plans. Really, though, he was wondering how that Weasley boy could have obtained such a high quality surf board.  
  
*All the places I go have the cheapest kind.....*  
  
~`~  
  
Harry, Hermione, Ron, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle (let's just call them "Harry & co. from now on, ok?) were arguing over whether the Weird Sisters or Mozart was better music. Ron, Hermione, and Draco were for the Weird Sisters 100%.   
Harry, Crabbe, and Goyle, however, were clearly for Mozart.  
  
"It's just more sophisticated!"  
  
"Dude, the Weird Sisters are better!"  
  
"No, I-"  
  
"Just listen, man-"  
  
//giggle!\\  
  
Suddenly, a terrible, screeching sound filled the Three Broomsticks. Wizards, witches, hags, giants (well, maybe not, but you get my drift) and the like began to flee the pub in terror at the sound of-  
  
Oops!   
I did it again.  
I played with your heart  
Got lost in the game-  
  
Screams echoed through the town of Hogsmeade.  
  
Suddenly, as all the crowds stampeded away, one lone figure was standing in the middle of the street.  
  
Headphones clamped tightly over his ears, blasting the Weird Sisters music, surfboard in hands, Ron made his way down the street, cringing when the Britteny Spears music could be heard even through his headphones (which were quite loud). He made his way to the Three Broomsticks.  
  
Reaching the pub, he bashed open the door with his board (the Britteny music could screw up your mind, so it didn't occur to him to use the door knob), he walked inside, and saw-  
  
"NEVILLE?!"  
  
He had to yell over the wails of Britteny.  
  
Neville gasped and turned around. He was kneeling by a CD player, hands over his ears.  
  
*Oh, no! The surfing dude has discovered me! What shall I do now?*  
  
A sudden, but stupid, thought burst into his head.  
  
*Of course! I will use "Avada Kedavra!"*  
  
Unfortunately, Neville was no star student, and could most deffinetely not perform this curse properly. If he did, I'd say he's fit for //some\\ world record.  
  
Neville cleared his throat, and yelled-  
  
"Avada Salada!"  
  
Let's put it this way: it wasn't pretty. Not knowing it, Neville was (not surprising...) holding his wand backwards. He then transformed himself into a mix between a human and a piece of lettuce.  
  
Ron stood there for a moment, staring at Neville with a look that clearly said-  
  
"Eeeeeew......not your best pose, eh Neville?"  
  
~`~  
  
~Epilogue~  
  
The horrifying music was turned off after Neville was discovered.  
  
Neville was put on trial, and, sadly, was send to the Wizarding Musuem of Art, and had (and still is, I believe) to pose as a piece of art. That was part of his punishment; but it gets worse. Neville was forced to work at a recording center of, yes, Britteny Spears, and was forced to listen to her music for one long year, and edit it. ::gasps from readers::  
  
Harry & co. successfully graduated from Hogwarts, and though this is how they //really\\ were at Hogwarts, when a biography of Harry's was published (you may have heard of them...by J.K. Rowling?), the author thought it too boring for him not to have any enemies, so, sadly, Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle were portrayed completely opposite of what they really are, as are Harry, Ron, and Hermione.  
  
So, this is a story of a year at Hogwarts, of six friends, and an evil lettuce/human. Please give your comments on this shocking tale below:  
  
  
Disclaimer: I OWN THEM!!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! ::sniff:: no, not really, but I *wish* I did!  
  



End file.
